The other day, while reading through other blogs, I made a list of a whole bunch of things I could blog about that happened to come to mind. Good thing I did because, reading the list now, I didn't remember half the stuff. I finally made the decision to write about what a greedy little grinch I can be. The first step is admitting it, right? haha.
As a child, I would seriously go ape shit for pinatas. I mean, I got to whack the crap out of something and it bled delicious, sugary morsels of aweseomeness. What kid wouldn't enjoy that? And sometimes my Mom loved me so much that she would even put loonies and toonies in there so I could spend all of that on even more candy. Can you say awesome?!!
Anyways, I was the Birthday girl, so I presumed that meant that I could do whatever the hell I wanted and no one could say shit about it. The parental units, on the other hand, were not on the same page. All of the kids got to take equal turns at hitting the rainbow-tassled donkey thing, and of course it always seemed like my turn was the shortest. At first I was a little bit peeved, I mean I've always had a desire to destroy stuff, so it wasn't really my cup of tea to give everyone else a shot at releasing the sugary goodness from the belly of the beast. But being a child genius and all, I immediately took advantage of the opportunity to grab as much of the loot as I could. Basically, when a friend of mine managed to bust that donkey open, the entire back half of the thing fell down and all of the candy was still inside it! Can you guess what I did next? Yeah. I bee-lined it to that donkey-ass, grabbed the entire thing, and ran away with all of my precious candy.
I tried to place myself discreetly out of view of the other kids so they wouldn't be able to see how I totally jipped them of their spoils. I felt extremely proud of myself. I basically snagged enough candy and small change to last me for a couple of weeks at least! I was in heaven! But, alas, all good things must come to an end. My Uncle came up to me and explained that I should share with everyone since I'm getting all the presents and all. Bullshit. The birthday girl should get everything! That includes the donkey-ass filled with candy. Seriously. Whatever though, he ended up tossing handfuls of it off the balcony so it would be evenly distributed among the other sugar addicts in attendance. Being only about 5 years old (I think), my grudge only lasted until we all took inventory and began the serious business of trading for our favourites.
The other story that comes to mind is when me and the fam jam (Mom, Dad, siblings) were all in the van together (I have no recollection of where we were going) and my Mom was handing out some cookies that she had. Me being so small and everything, I naturally ate a bit slower than my older brother. When he finished his cookie, he looked to our Mom and asked if he could have another one, except that there were no more cookies. I was completely aware of the cookie situation, so I knew that my delicious cookie was next on the ‘sharing is caring’ list. Rather than be the nice, 'sharing is caring' sister I am (usually) today, I promptly stuffed the rest of the cookie in my mouth before Mom could pressure me into sharing the rest of it. It was a damn good cookie, and I felt no remorse whatsoever.
The really funny thing is, I never really stopped looking for ways to get the most of the things that I love, mainly my favourite foods. Still to this day, whenever I am enjoying a delicious snack, I will naturally avoid walking past any friends or family members (especially Dad) that will proceed to steal what is mine to enjoy. I know everyone has done something like this at some point, so I don’t really feel bad at all. =)
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