Start at the Beginning! Or else...

I really, really dislike watching/reading things out of order. I have this really weird need to get the whole story on the stuff I really like. For example, I cannot watch True Blood with my roommate because I have so far only seen the first episode, and it would drive me absolutely INSANE to randomly watch the most recent episode and NOT KNOW WTF IS GOING ON. No. She must wait until I have watched every single episode in chronological order before we can enjoy roomie bonding time over the fictitious creature porno show.

Another example: Watching all of the Harry Potter movies has now made me want to read through all of the books because I feel that there are so many miscellaneous and minor details that could not be fit into the movies. I love those details! Knowing them makes me feel very professional and knowledgeable.

While on the subject of book series, whenever I have to wait an extended period of time before being able to get the next book in the series I am currently reading, I have to re-read all of them right from the beginning. It seriously is a whole new experience when you get to motor through 5 books all in a row without interruption. In my opinion, it makes it so much more intense because my mind doesn't even have time to remember the real world. For however many days I am reading the books, I am just immersed in the fantasy world of the books I love so much. LOVE IT! Re-watching all of the Harry Potter movies in this fashion also made me like them much more than I ever remembered.

I also hate dropping in on movies that have already started. I will literally refuse to watch it unless I can see what happened since the very second the first scene pops up on the screen. If I don;t start from the beginning, I feel like there is a gaping hole in my movie experience. It just isn't the same.

Is anybody else like this? I'm sure this habit is only slightly freakish and abnormal...

Love gets me every time

I am absolutely addicted to romance. Those damn movies get me every friggin time! I just watched the movie called Timer. Basically in this world, everyone can choose to get this 'timer' implanted that will count down to the moment you will meet 'the one', as long as the other person also has a timer of course. If only one of a pair has the timer, then it will just show up blank.

How crazy is that?! I mean, this girl was basically OBSESSED with trying to find her 'one' since her timer has shown up blank since she got it. Ugh. I don't even want to talk about it. I'm still oozing cheesy romantic butterflies. My 'high' is the little knot in my stomach whenever I get so ridiculously attached to the story of people falling for each other. It's just too goddamn cute! I swear this will be my ultimate downfall because real life can really be a pile of dog shit compared to the stuff spewing out of the theatres. I mean come on, the real thing will never have the same 'perfection', and sometimes that can be real depressing.

Anyways, I think I will go listen to some really sappy music and eat some ice cream (homemade raspberry cheesecake FTW!) because it's pretty damn hot in this house right now. (side note: no A/C when it's over 30 degrees Celsius outside, really sucks BALLS)

Supernova and Brain Farts

I would like to start off by mentioning that it is mother effing TEN HUNDRED THOUSAND degrees right now, and I am mega tired but it’s too god damn hot to even pass the fuck out! I mean seriously, walking the 30 metres from my car to inside the house, my thoughts were as such: ‘I NEED TO TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES ASAP’. Don’t get too sexcited there... ;) Now before you get the impression that I am living in a shithole with no A/C, allow me to clarify: my roomies and I are all cheap bastards and will suffer through this heat because we don’t want to pay to turn on the A/C. This completely voluntary choice does not, however, mean that I can’t complain J.

*as a side note, I learned of the word ‘sexcited’ from Sara at Sara Swears A Lot. I feel that I have to give her a mention so I don’t feel like a word stealing little bitch. =)

Anyways, I think I’m going to talk about the oh-so-lovely BRAIN FART. Oh yes. We all experience these at one time or another and they can lead to either a fit of gut-busting laughter or the ending of relationships as a result of the extreme awkwardness and idiocracy. One of these such moments led me to discover the joy of saying TEN HUNDRED THOUSAND. Say it to yourself. Can you feel the awesomeness? It is just the perfect way to express ‘an effing shit load’ without the need for profanity. But yeah, hope you enjoy that shit! Here is how I came across such an amazing phrase:

(Don’t remember how we got to talking about lakes, but it doesn’t really matter)

Dad: Do you know how many lakes there are in Ontario?

Me: A lot...?

Dad: Ok, but guess how many.

Me: hmmm.... Five thousand!

Dad: No, much higher!

Me: Five HUNDRED thousand!

Dad: Nope, even higher!

Me: (no fucking way there are that many lakes!) Ok.... EIGHT hundred thousand!

Dad: Not quite!

Me: (he is totally making this shit up) NINE hundred thousand!!

Dad: Nope!

Me: omfg TEN HUNDRED THOUSAND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Insert momentary confusion here as my brain tries to decipher what just came out of my mouth

Dad: ...... if you mean one million, then YES!

And that’s how it happened!

Living the high life

Who doesn’t envy the life of a celeb once in a while? I mean, how freaking awesome would it be to have thousands upon thousands of fans just pining for a simple autograph or photo with you! Now, this could be the narcissism talking here, but I would totally accept that kind of attention in a heartbeat. Don’t get me wrong, I realize it’s not all balloons and bubblegum all the time for the A-listers, but I think it would be a real treat if I could just live the high life for like, about a week or two. That seems like a good amount of time. Just enough to fit in some serious pampering(hello diamond dust exfoliation!), couple talk show appearances, and some public outings to satisfy the paparazzi and show off my hot new wardrobe. Oh and perhaps a photo shoot as well. Those look pretty fun.

Anyways, since I am on the topic of celebrities, I think it would be a good time to put together a little list of my current celeb crushes. You ready for some serious eye candy?! I know I am ;)

These sexy beasts can seriously make my heart melt.. maybe during my two weeks I could end up in a Vegas wedding chapel with one of them..? A girl can dream..

Speaking of dreams, I once had one in which Ryan Reynolds proposed to me, and just as I was about to say HELL FUCKING YES... I woke up. The only other time I woke up so disappointed was when I won the lottery in a dream. Needless to say, I was a little bummed out that day.

I love being the youngest

Whenever my brother Rene would have his friends over for a weekend of drunken shenanigans at The Cottage (yeah, it’s a proper noun.. because it’s the SHIT), I would find my entertainment in being a witness to all things hilarious that were pretty much guaranteed to happen. It isalmost like a weekend-long sitcom. All I did was sit back, relax, and wait for the beers to disappear. Needless to say, things usually got funnier as the nights wore on...

One of my brother’s good friends Mike is always a real hit. Why? Because he eventually loses the will to wear anything but his briefs. I know, you’re thinking ‘Oh my gosh that is completely inappropriate!’ Be that as it may, it really gets a huge round of laughs every time. One of my favourite memories was a May 2-4 weekend a couple years back. On the last day we were there, Mike decided it would be a great idea to finish off a mickey of JD. Of course, he eventually was running around in his famous briefs which made me somewhat uncomfortable being the ‘little sister’. As I was packing the car, I had to walk by him and the other people and I cast an awkward glance in his direction. He then says: ‘Careful Laura, you might fall in love.’ I just smiled, perhaps let out a little chuckle, and quickly shoved the rest of my crap into the car and went back inside.

Anyways, this past Canada Day weekend most definitely did not disappoint. When I arrived with 2 of my friends, we were promptly greeted with a huge round of applause (there were probably around 15 people there already, so it was a hearty cheer and it made me feel special). There were so many hilarious moments that happened that weekend, and unfortunately I think they are of the ‘you had to be there’ type. Repeating some of them here would kind of kill the funny a bit.. especially since I’m not the greatest story teller in the world. I can, however, relay a couple pieces of advice a family friend so graciously shared with my friends and I:

Don’t trust women.

You can’t plan a good time. Except when you do.

Take your time, sour like lime.