I would like to start off by mentioning that it is mother effing TEN HUNDRED THOUSAND degrees right now, and I am mega tired but it’s too god damn hot to even pass the fuck out! I mean seriously, walking the 30 metres from my car to inside the house, my thoughts were as such: ‘I NEED TO TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES ASAP’. Don’t get too sexcited there... ;) Now before you get the impression that I am living in a shithole with no A/C, allow me to clarify: my roomies and I are all cheap bastards and will suffer through this heat because we don’t want to pay to turn on the A/C. This completely voluntary choice does not, however, mean that I can’t complain J.
*as a side note, I learned of the word ‘sexcited’ from Sara at Sara Swears A Lot. I feel that I have to give her a mention so I don’t feel like a word stealing little bitch. =)
Anyways, I think I’m going to talk about the oh-so-lovely BRAIN FART. Oh yes. We all experience these at one time or another and they can lead to either a fit of gut-busting laughter or the ending of relationships as a result of the extreme awkwardness and idiocracy. One of these such moments led me to discover the joy of saying TEN HUNDRED THOUSAND. Say it to yourself. Can you feel the awesomeness? It is just the perfect way to express ‘an effing shit load’ without the need for profanity. But yeah, hope you enjoy that shit! Here is how I came across such an amazing phrase:
(Don’t remember how we got to talking about lakes, but it doesn’t really matter)
Dad: Do you know how many lakes there are in Ontario?
Me: A lot...?
Dad: Ok, but guess how many.
Me: hmmm.... Five thousand!
Dad: No, much higher!
Me: Five HUNDRED thousand!
Dad: Nope, even higher!
Me: (no fucking way there are that many lakes!) Ok.... EIGHT hundred thousand!
Dad: Not quite!
Me: (he is totally making this shit up) NINE hundred thousand!!
Dad: Nope!
Me: omfg TEN HUNDRED THOUSAND!!!!!!!!!!!!
Insert momentary confusion here as my brain tries to decipher what just came out of my mouth
Dad: ...... if you mean one million, then YES!
And that’s how it happened!
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